walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
