why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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