What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
