I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
