butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
