Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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