i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
