you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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