You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
