I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
