I'm drive I can fine osifer
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
