goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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