apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
