If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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