i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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