Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
