I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
