They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
