I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
