Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
