Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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