yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
