yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
