just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
