He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
