do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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