Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
