I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
