You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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