You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
