You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
