I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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