So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
