Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
