I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
