Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The adults are the big ones right?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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