I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
