im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
