playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
