I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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