and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
