I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
