I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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