Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
