Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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