is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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