make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
