yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
