Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
