is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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