if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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