Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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