I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
