Yo dont text me then not text me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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