I cockslap morals
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
