I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
